The Diary of a Tin of Bully Beef.
•52
The Yprbs Times.
October ioth.At lastAm at the front. To-morow I shall be in the trenches,
where I expect a hearty welcome. I heard someone say "Golly! Bully again!! Won't
the chaps be pleased!
October iith.Am rather disappointed. There were too many of us, so am left
behind. Still, the Quartermaster says I shall be issued to one of the new draft if they
are short of iron rations.
October 12th.Am glad I came out to do my bit-." I was given to-day to a
young officer, newly come out, who read my nice white label carefully and then put me
in his haversack with a shiny oval tin called Groceries and three thick square biscuits.
October 13th.In the trenches. I can hear the rifles being fired just outside. My
owner isu Lieut. Smith and we share his dugout with him. He told his soldier servant
Mind you see these iron rations are always kept in my haversack, Jones." I don't
like Jones. He merely grunted inarticulately.
October 14th.Lieut. Smith is a real gentleman as well as an officer. He placed
Groceries, Biscuits and me on a chair in his dugout and admired us to-day. My best
friends against starvation," he murmured, if the worst comes to the worst."
October 15th.Jones's attitude to me is becoming quite objectionable. He dropped
me on the floor while searching for a box of matches and exclaimed Damn that bully,"
with an adjective which suggested that I was wounded.
October i6th.Jones's conduct is disgraceful. He put us all in Lieut. Smith's
pack and told another soldier that he couldn't see why Lieut. Smith bothered about
keeping me.
October 17th.Jones endeavoured to leave me behind in the trenches to-day
when our company was relieved. But that true gentleman, Lieut. Smith, brought him
to his senses by sternly remarking You are forgetting my iron rations." Jones there
upon vented his spite by throwing me against one of the Biscuits. It hurt me.
October i8th.Back in rest camp. Lieut. Smith is proud of me, I am sure. He
personally took us out of his pack and arrranged us neatly on the floor of his tent.
October 19th.Lieut. Smith caressed me tenderly to-day while he was alone in
the tent, and murmured I wonder if I shall ever need to eat you." Then he cleaned
his revolver.
October 20th.Jones most objectionable again. He kicked me three times across
the floor while sweeping out the tent. My nice blue coat is quite muddy.
October 2ist.Lieut. Smith has distinguished himself somehow. I heard Lieut.
Ormesby, who shares the tent with him, tell another officer, Smith? Oh, he's a B.F."
October 22nd..Am not on speaking terms with any of the three Biscuits. I asked
them what B.F." means and they put an interpretation on it which is an insult to Lieut.
Smith. Groceries refused to give an opinion. He is suffering from a severe dent in
his side and accuses me of having caused it. The shocking weather and constant moving
about seems to affect them adversely.
October 23rd.Groceries is seriously ill. His sugar h;ts burst out and he believes
he has haemorrhage of the Oxo.
October 24th.Left the rest camp. Biscuits are complaining bitterly of exposure
and the damp water.
October 25th.A frost last night. Biscuits are better, but poor Groceries
is very seedy.
October 26th.Lieut. Smith has noticed Groceries' condition, which he does
not apparently understand.
