The Ypres Times.
69
scornfully, all his military feelings lacerated by the suggestion that a General might have
heard of a Second Lieutenant. A job on the staff
Not at all," I said.
What then
Well, what about lunch
The battalion nearly lost a valuable Lieutenant. It was some moments before he
was sufficiently recovered to speak, and then he assured me solemnly that a Major-General
would never dream of asking a Second Lieutenant to lunch. It simply wasn't done.
Evidently I didn't know anything about the Army.
Well, really," I said mildly, I don't see why not."
Smith, if that was his name, snorted in disgust and blew out the candle. We went
to sleep.
A week laterhe could hardly have done it soonerthe General asked me to lunch.
He sent a car óver for us, for I was taking the Colonel with me, and we drove the fifteen
miles or so to Divisional Headquarters. The Colonel was humorously plaintive. He
said he didn't mind my lunching with the General, but he objected to being dragged into
it as a sort of chaperon. Privately, no doubt, he thought that we had lost the war.
We had an excellent lunch. It was what novelists would call a dazzling scene, full
of colour, wherein I alone struck an unrelieved note of greeny-brown. After lunch I
smoked one of the General's cigars. I forget if we offered the Colonel one, but Staff
Captains and such small fry had to be content with cigarettes. Our Brigade Sports were
being held that afternoon, and as soon as I had finished my cigar, an A.D.C. announced
myour car, and we drove back to the Sports. There were four of us the General, the
Staff Colonel, my own Colonel and myself. It is just possibleI cannot remember now
that I consented to sit with my back to the driver, for I was in a peaceful mood that
afternoon, and not likely to be touchy on such a point. I think it more probable, however,
that the General and I sat together facing the driver, and that we had these two Colonels
opposite to us. Probably we pointed out to them any objects of interest which, from
their position, they were in danger of missing.
Arrived at the Sports I said good-bye to the General, nodded to the Staff Colonel,
and wandered off on my own. It must have been about an hour later (five o'clock, say,
for lunch had been a long meal) that I ran into our very military Brigadier. To him,
of course, every subaltern was just a subaltern to me on that golden afternoon a Brigadier-
General was just a man who got ordered about by a Major-Generalsuch as I had lunched
with and practically smacked on the back, three hours ago. He did not know my name
but then there was nothing in that, because I didn't know his. I was just the first subal
tern he had met since his tea, and he stopped me, and indicated genially that there was
still a little cold tea and a few bits of cake left over, and that if I liked to finish it up with
any of my friends, it would save his orderlies packing it up again. But, of course, he
put it more kindly than that. I thanked him heartily, saluted quite a bit, andas luck
had itbumped shortly afterwards into Smith.
You're the very man," I said. Come along."
Hallo he said. Where have you been
I have been lunching at Divisional Headquarters," I explained. With the General.
A good lunch, but I am a little hungry again. What about having a spot of tea with the
Brigadier
Funny, aren't we he said.
Funny What's funny about it Here we are."
But, I say, that'syou can'tdon't be a
I dragged him, protesting still, into the Brigadier's tent.
A cup of tea for my friend Mr. Smith," I said to an orderly.
Yes, on the whole I think that that was my most satisfactory day in the Army. The
apex of my military career.
