The Ypres Times.
163
A party of reinforcements were marching into Ypres led by a guide from the unit
they were joining. As they entered the Grand' Place the old soldier pointed across the road
saying, "That's the Cloth 'all mates." Out of the semi-darkness came the only comment
Lor lummy, the moffs aint 'arf been at it, T bet there aint much cloff left!
Tommy (relating to his pal the story of an attack in which he had just taken part)
And then I comes to a shell 'ole with twelve 'Uns in it and they was all dead 'cept one,
so I goes up to 'ini an' I says You lucky blighter'then I napoos 'im!
An American was having his first taste of war in the Salient. Gee! he said,
It sure is just like Hell!Then came a voice from the back of the dugout, Blimey,
these blokes don't 'arf travel, seem to 'ave been everywhere."
One morning a. nurse found a wounded Tommy showing a valuable gold watch to
the soldier in the next bed. Where did you get that beautiful watch she asked,
A German gave it to me," he replied. You must have acted very generously towards
him, I'm sure," she saidwhat did he give it to you for? "E 'ad to," Was the simple
reply.
Two Jews were in partnership and one was called up for army service. About a month
later his friend wired Business burned out got ten thousand insurance. What shall I
do He replied immediately, Start another business." A fortnight later a second wire
arrived, Business burned out got fifteen thousand insurance. What shall I do He
wired back at once, Keep the Home Fires Burning."
Many Divisions published magazines which were crammed full of fun. Not the least
amusing was the part allocated to supposed adverts such as the following
Public Notice The Electric Trams will not be running to the front line for a time,
as the cook stole the current to make a pudding for the mess.
PersonalCharlie.Come back dearest one. A warm welcome awaits you. Loving
arms will be presented to you."Sergt.-Major Bawler.
To LetNice dugout, beautifully situated on the sky-line. Close to Canal and Ravine
Wood. Plenty of good shooting available. Owner has to leave for field hospital.
In the early days, songs were turned out in greater numbers than shells, but, with
very few exceptions, such as Keep the Home Fires Burning," Tommy never took to them.
J ust as the Army managed to do its own cooking, baking and washing, so did they make
up their own songs Mademoiselle from Armentières," Down in the Trenches Where
We've Been," "Where's the Sergeant-Major?" "Grousing, Grousing, Grousing,"
Shadows of the Evening," Far, Far from Ypres I Want To Be," The Bells of Hell go
Ting-a-ling," I Want to go Home," Though the Sergeant Steals Your RumNever
Mind," etc. You will remember many more. They were generally very much to the
point and helped us on many a weary march over those frightful pavé roads. What
memories these stories and songs recall! Days of great adventure. Palsgreat-hearted
boys who gave their all for their country. Because of them we must carry on and
keep the faith. Faith in our country! Faith in ourselves! WTe who fought at Ypres
have a great tradition to upholda tradition of grit and pluck and cheerfulness under all
conditions. What with Bolshevists, strikes, income-tax collectors, high prices, unemploy
ment, the housing shortage and other things always on our trail, we need these qualities
just as much to-day as in the old days. We can always do our best.
It's easy enough to look pleasant
When life goes along like a song
Butthe man worth while
Is the man who can smile
When everything goes dead wrong."
It takes a bit of doing, but remember Ypres and Carry On!
